please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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