it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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