ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
