just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
