I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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