we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
