apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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