the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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