Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
