So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
