You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
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is this the sara with the beer cane?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
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The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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