Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
