hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you win again, gameday.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My penis needs a shock collar
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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