All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
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Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
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This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize