Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i believe in u and ur pee
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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