ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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