I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
