you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
