i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
