Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
