im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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