The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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