Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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