I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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