How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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