It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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