She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
nutella sex= disaster
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
