Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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