I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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