Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
