almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She's the barista slut.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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