he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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