Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
