Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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