he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize