what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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