what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
