So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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