how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Come share oat with me in your robe
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