idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
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You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
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Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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