wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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