how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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