She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It's just like the Real World with babies
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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