how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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