Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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