i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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