so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize