Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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