she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
