Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
