my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
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