omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
