Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
