He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
