i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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