How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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