you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
