Soap is not a condiment
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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